the planet talks

My piece A Climatologist Walks Into A Bar asks why there are so few jokes about climate change. The best parody I found was in The Onion, which treated autumn as television. The headline ran:

'Fall canceled after 3 billion seasons. A beloved classic comes to an end'.

The text said:

'In recent years the Fall has been reduced from three months to a meagre two-week stint, and its scheduled start time has been pushed back later and later each year.'

A new contender for best parody would be the Daily Mash interview with the planet.

'The planet Earth has dismissed claims it is in danger from global warming, stressing the worst that could happen is the extinction of the human race.'

It goes on:

'The planet said environmental campaigners should change their slogan from 'Save the Planet' to something more relevant such as 'Save Your Sorry Arse'. '

(Hat-tip: Paul Kingsnorth)